Calm Inside the Chaos (and a Side of Ramen)
Morning Momentum (or so I thought)
So… normal day.
Actually, not normal.
I crawl out of bed, walk into my son’s room, and tell him he’s got 10 minutes to get ready before we leave for school. Make sure he’s got everything for class, everything for Life Time after, and I’ll meet him there later.
In my head I’m already like…
there’s no way this is going smoothly.
So I take Parker (the dog) for a walk while he gets ready.
And y’all…
This kid somehow takes a shower, gets dressed, and is ready in 10 minutes.
We’re only five minutes behind.
That might not sound like a big deal to most people—
but if you know, you know.
My son is sensory sensitive.
Routine matters. Timing matters. Transitions matter.
So for him to move that fast, that smoothly, without getting overwhelmed?
That’s growth.
That’s a big deal.
Passenger Prince Parker
Then Parker and I load up and drop Evan off at college.
And let me just say this—
Parker is just as excited as I am to have the baby Range Rover back
That dog hops in the backseat like he pays the car note, stretches out, and just chills. He LOVES going for rides.
NAD & Nervous System Work
Parker and I get home, I finish my morning routine.
It’s an NAD day.
And for me, those days just hit different.
Also therapy day.
The Assignment That Hits
So I go sit with my therapist—my once-a-week “let me unpack my brain safely” session.
And today?
She gave me homework.
Apparently… every time I feel like I’m being too much, too powerful, asking too many questions, or needing help…
I apologize.
Or I shrink.
Or I sit there with guilt and anxiety like I did something wrong…
when in reality?
I didn’t do a damn thing.
So my assignment this week is to track it.
Every time I say “I’m sorry.”
Every time I feel like I’m bothering someone… when I’m not.
Yeah… we’re getting deep around here.
And honestly? I’m excited.
Because this is another layer of the onion.
And the wild part is—I can actually catch it now.
That’s the difference.
I can regulate.
I can discern.
I can see it happening in real time instead of drowning in it.
Life Keeps Lifing
After therapy, I grab my stuff and head to see one of my sweet special needs clients.
And of course… life keeps lifing.
Evan starts texting me in a panic.
His card expired.
He needs a Lyft to Life Time.
Mind you… the gym is literally right across the street.
But it’s a busy road, and with his awareness level?
He’s not ready for that yet.
And honestly—I’m proud of that.
So I walk him through how to use Apple Pay to call the Lyft, tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can, and keep moving.
Sauna, Plants, and Timing
I finally get to Life Time…
And I’m sitting in the sauna, reading The Light Eaters.
And this book? It’s hitting.
Learning about plants from a completely different perspective while I’m in this whole healing era of my life—it just fits.
And just as I start to relax…
My son texts again.
He’s got a movie at 3.
So I wrap it up, get dressed, go grab him, and bring him home.
When People Notice
Take Parker out again…
And this part stopped me.
My concierge looks at me dead serious and says:
“Okay I know you’ve been telling me what you’ve been doing… but you look five years younger. There’s no inflammation. Your face and neck look thinner.”
Now listen…
This is a woman who has seen me almost every day for two years.
Through surgeries.
Through inflammation.
Through chronic pain.
Through tears in my hips.
Through all of it.
So for her to say that?
That’s her observation.
And I’ll take it.
Because something is clearly shifting.
Don’t Doubt Me Energy
Before I even head into work…
I’m out here training Parker again
I had to prove my dog actually hits his door bell on the floor when he wants to go for a walk—
and yes, that’s different from the bells on the door he uses to go potty outside.
So yeah… we’ve got a whole system over here.
And if I’m being real?
I intentionally did this to prove a friend wrong.
Don’t doubt me.
Because I will show up stronger and harder every single time.
And of course I had to get that on Facebook and TikTok.
Because don’t play with me—he’s learning.
And honestly?
It’s really starting to click for him.
Doing What I Do
From there, I shower and head into my office.
First client—new client.
Husband of someone I worked on last month.
I love that.
I love when families trust me like that.
It means I’m doing something right.
Six Years Deep
Second client—six years.
We realized it today.
Six years.
And now we’re planning a spa date at Life Time after work… weather permitting, because Minnesota
I live for that kind of connection.
Real Friendships
And in between clients.
I check my phone.
My girl texts me and all I see is:
“Update: I made it.”
Immediately I’m like—
OMG what is happening??
So I open the message thread…
And I start laughing so hard I’m coughing.
Needless to say—
she made it to the bathroom in time
These are real friendships.
We talk about our poop.
Because let’s be real…
shit happens.
Trust Takes Time
Third client…
She’s been a challenge for me.
Not fully trusting.
Still wanting control.
But today shifted something.
Because she came back.
After months.
Which means I made an impact… even if I didn’t realize it at the time.
And today?
We made real progress.
Not instant-fix progress.
Trust-building progress.
And that kind lasts.
Full Circle Moments
Now I’m home.
Parker and I went out again.
More training.
Working with him at crosswalks, at doors—teaching him to sit, to pause, to look both ways.
He’ll be two in July… and it’s like everything is finally clicking.
The puppy is growing out of him.
And honestly?
Same.
Real Life Balance
Writing this.
About to eat some ramen like the balanced human I am
Back to the Edge
Oh—and let’s not forget…
I tried to schedule my motorcycle permit test today.
Tell me why there is nowhere on the website to actually schedule it.
So now I gotta call the DMV like it’s 2005.
Cool.
This Is the Shift
But let me say this…
I don’t have people in my ear anymore telling me what I can and can’t do—and believing their lies.
There’s a difference.
I used to believe I could only be a backpack on a bike.
Not anymore.
I’m 5’2”, 128 pounds…
and I finally have my strength back again.
After everything the last five years had me growing through?
This hits different.
I know I can hold that bike up.
I know I can ride it.
And yeah… I’m gonna look damn good doing it.
And we’re not gonna act like that part doesn’t matter
Inside and out—we’re allowed to feel that.
Not Chaos… Growth
My life probably looks chaotic.
Because it is.
But this?
This is the calmest I’ve ever felt inside of it.
And if you’re out here feeling like your life is all over the place…
But something inside you is finally starting to feel steady?
You’re not crazy.
You’re changing.
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