Deuces and Sweat in the Eyeballs

Quick note: the underlined words are clickable links.

I overslept.

Like fully blew through my alarms. Gone. Didn’t hear a damn thing.

But somehow… I still got up and did my glow routine and my vlog — while my son is respectfully losing his mind at me… by texting me… because I’m mid-vlog and he’s about to be late for class.

And honestly? It was NAD day, so I didn’t even care.

Those days just hit different. My whole perspective shifts. Everything feels better, lighter, like my system actually wants to cooperate for once.

So we get in the car.

Now here’s the thing — we’re both obsessed with time.

But in completely opposite ways.

He runs early.

I run… “we’ll get there.”

So now we’re in this full-blown argument because in his brain, it’s been four years since he’s had to wake me up.

And I’m like… yeah, four years ago I was a whole different human. I was still crawling out of trauma. My system was wrecked.

So I said to him — why didn’t you make sure I was up? You know when my brain is active like this, I sleep straight through alarms.

And it turned into this whole thing.

Back and forth. Tension. Stress.

And then…

We both just lost it.

Like full break. Couldn’t stop laughing. Because the entire situation was so ridiculous when you step outside of it for two seconds.

That moment right there? That’s growth.

Then I get to Life Clinic.

I’m BS’ing with Dylan, he does his thing, gets my neck back in alignment — I’m like okay, cool, I feel good.

Great.

So I leave there and head to go sit under the red light at Palm Beach Tan.

And this is where it just takes a turn.

I start laughing to myself because I think I just have to pee, right?

Run into the bathroom real quick before my session.

Nope.

Deuces.

Immediate.

No warning.

And I’m just sitting there like…

yep. That adjustment definitely got things moving.

Like we are fully operational now 😂

So I leave there, and I’m driving…

And out of nowhere my brain goes — Caribou.

Like full squirrel brain. Haven’t had it forever. Suddenly I need a white chocolate campfire mocha like it’s calling my name.

So I’m on my way there, just vibing, and then this thought hits me out of nowhere —

“I should call my husband and see what he wants.”

…

I don’t have a husband.

Like fully just created a whole man in my head for a solid second. It felt so real too. Not even a question. Just automatic.

And I catch myself mid-thought like —

ma’am… who are you calling??

I literally started laughing in the car.

But also…

Because after the last seven plus years of my life, I am ready for my person to show up.

My king. Whoever the hell that might be.

God bless that poor soul, because I am a lot 😂

Like you’re gonna need energy, patience, and the ability to keep up.

And now that I know what “passenger princess” feels like?

Yeah… I have expectations now.

So I come home, get my morning vlog edited and uploaded everywhere — back in motion.

Then I head into the office.

My first client?

Wild.

The amount of synchronicities between the two of us just in the last 24–48 hours… like you can’t even make that stuff up.

Those sessions hit different.

It’s like everything lines up and you both just know you were meant to cross paths exactly when you did.

There’s this unspoken understanding, like you’re both tracking something deeper at the same time.

And I always leave those sessions like…

okay yeah… I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Then my next client comes in.

And this is the one I was waiting for.

I get her all settled, step out for a quick little potty break, come back into the room…

And all of a sudden I’m just moving.

Like I’m dancing.

But not normal dancing — like I’m this tiny little fairy in a forest.

Just light, soft, floating… like I’ve got these beautiful wings and I’m just moving through this magical space.

So of course I say it out loud to her because at this point, why not 😂

And she looks at me and goes —

“Yeah… you’re like a little fairy. I’ve always envisioned you as a fairy.”

…

Wait. What??

I literally stopped.

She goes, “You’re just so tiny and magical, like a fairy.”

You cannot make this shit up.

And then the session just kept unfolding.

We start talking about how grounded she feels right now — and I’m thinking about her first visit compared to today…

The upgrades?

Insane.

Like real, noticeable, embodied change.

And I just sat there for a second in it like…

I get to witness this.

I get to be part of this.

While I’m also growing and evolving at the same time.

There really aren’t words for that.

Some days I genuinely have to pause and remind myself —

yeah… I’m still here. I’m still human. And this is actually my life.

And I love what I do.

And now it’s 3:33.

Of course it is 😂

So I’m gonna finish up laundry, head home quick, and then I’m right back out the door to go to Tyler’s yoga class at Life Time in Rosemont.

And I am so stoked about this.

This dude is fucking hilarious.

Like genuinely makes it fun to show up.

And I’ll be real — I still don’t understand everything yet.

I’m not the most flexible.

I don’t always know what the hell I’m doing.

But I keep showing up.

And I can actually see my own progression now.

And more importantly…

I finally feel okay actually taking up space.

Even when I feel like the odd duck… I’m not.

I’m included, not excluded.

And today proved that.

Because of course I got picked on 😂

And I could not stop laughing.

Like I’m trying to hold it together and I just can’t.

And I swear I lost 5 pounds in that class today.

I have never sweat like that in my life.

Like dripping. Head to toe. In my eyeballs.

The mat is freaking soaked. I’m slipping and sliding trying to hold poses.

And of course… I can’t stop laughing.

But the other thing that happened in class today…

My right side would not stop twitching.

Like vibrating.

I can’t even fully explain it, but if you know… you know.

It felt like something that’s been stuck in the right side of my body for a long time finally started trying to move.

And I could feel it.

Strong.

And honestly?

I’m ready for it to get out.

Because that’s where I’ve held everything.

The trauma.

The dominance.

The “always have to be the strong one” version of me.

And I don’t want to live there anymore.

I’m ready to soften.

I’m ready to be taken care of too.

If your nervous system needs a place to exhale, I offer trauma-informed massage, head spa treatments, and advanced skincare at 888 Spa MN—where real life and real healing meet.