Hold On… Did I Just Outgrow My Life?

I started my day with my typical nonnegotiable, my morning glow routine and my vlog. Got them all posted and headed out the door to therapy.

Now let’s talk about how bizarre therapy was because seriously y’all… you can’t make this shit up.

So I walk out of my therapist office and there is all these guys in the hallway leaving therapy too so we all hop into the elevator together and one guy starts talking to me. He’s like oh hi how are you? Your light is beautiful. How was your therapy session? I’m laughing and I’m like honestly I’m the boss. Sometimes I think I teach the therapist instead of the therapist teaching me. Usually I just need a safe place to word vomit all the chaos that has happened in my life.

Everybody starts laughing and then another guy standing there smiling ear to ear looks at me and goes, “You’re cute. Not like cute cute but your personality is cute.”

So anyways the three of us get out of the elevator and there is this giant swarm of people standing by the front doors and everybody is smiling and holding the doors open for me and waving and saying hi have a great day and I’m just standing there like how is this even my real life?

Then I get in my car and turn the radio on and I’m like holy shit that really just happened.

So I run my errand and come back home and I’m sitting there realizing how much my life has changed lately and how much I’ve learned to trust myself instead of shrinking myself into everybody else’s world. I can’t put my vision onto paper because it reveals itself to me as I go. That’s literally how my whole life has always worked.

I also had a really exciting conversation today with somebody that I’m thinking about bringing into my space to offer Fire Reiki and honestly I’m really excited about it. I loved her bio. I loved her energy. I just have a really good feeling about it and if y’all have followed me long enough you know my intuition usually knows what it’s doing. The problems usually happen when I fight it instead of trusting it.

So anyways if y’all remember my apartment had their lease renewal inspection a couple weeks ago and today I got the email about my renewal options so naturally I walk into the leasing office joking around like hey it’s your favorite annoying person and I have 12 million questions.

I start explaining to her that My Son and I are outgrowing this apartment and I don’t know what to do because I really don’t wanna leave here. Two years ago I thought it would be impossible for me to even move in here. I was sleeping on an air mattress with ants in the carpet and mice running through the house. I had no idea two years later I’d have a fully furnished home and be outgrowing it because life is finally becoming too small for us.

She starts laughing and goes, “Talk about divine timing. A penthouse literally just opened up but I also have a first floor apartment I think you and your son would really love.”

So we walk over there and immediately I’m like OK now you’re speaking my language. It’s 350 square feet bigger, the counters are lower which matters when you’re 5’1 and trying to film morning vlogs without angling your camera down like a psychopath, and my patio would literally face the new park they’re building with outdoor concerts and movie nights.

Like excuse me? Free entertainment from my patio? Hell yeah sign me up.

And the craziest part? It’s only $100 more a month due to special that being ran.

Now here’s where it gets even weirder.

I’m stressing thinking I don’t even know if I qualify because last year I went back to school full time while running my business and trying to survive life. So I grab my tax forms and bring them down to the leasing office.

Y’all.

I made THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS more than I even realized.

I’m sitting there telling her the amount I thought I made and she looks at the paperwork and just starts laughing like, “I think you’re gonna be just fine.”

Excuse me WHAT?

I genuinely had no idea.

So now I’m sitting there nervous as hell signing apartment transfer paperwork because let’s be real no matter who you are, moving and changing things is scary. You have to shake through it and do it scared anyways.

So I bring everything home for My Son to sign and now it’s a waiting game to see if corporate approves the transfer.

Then because my life is committed to keeping me humble I take Parker for a walk to clear my head and start freaking out because I think I lost my apartment keys. I’m digging through the trash thinking maybe I accidentally threw them away with the mail.

They were in my damn pocket the entire time.

Seriously.

Then I head to work and one of my clients walks in that I had completely convinced myself I scared away. Trauma brain really loves creating fake panic stories for absolutely no reason because this woman was so excited to see me and I’m over here realizing maybe my brain doesn’t always tell me the truth when it’s scared.

Anyways somehow I’m home by 6 PM tonight which literally never happens and now I’m sitting here eating watermelon with Tajín while writing this blog trying to process how much life has changed.

I was talking to somebody tonight that I speak with pretty regularly and she looked at me and said:

“I cannot believe the evolution since you moved in here and how amazing your life has transformed especially in the last few months. There’s nobody in the world I can think of that deserves it more than you. You are the hardest working woman I’ve ever met in my life and you just don’t stop. You just keep pushing until you can have a better tomorrow.”

And honestly maybe she’s right because when I look back at where I was just two years ago compared to where I am now… sometimes even I can’t believe this is my real life.

Now all that’s missing is a partner to feel safe with at night to let everything go with and wake up in the morning for breakfast together whatever that may look like.

And I don’t think I’m ready anymore.

I know I’m ready

Bring it on baby… what’s next