Magnetic Lights, Rogue Lotion, and the Boss I Almost Fired

There was something under today… and I didn’t realize how loud it was until it almost took me out.

The day started with that familiar hum.

My son is grieving his best friend being called to duty, and the energy in the house felt tight. Like everything was just… sitting there.

I still showed up.

Did my client.

Did my glow getter routine while filming my vlog.

But I could feel it in the background all day.

I went to get a pedicure thinking I’d reset a little.

Instead, things got weird.

I’m sitting there talking about my work, the business, just being me—and I can feel the energy building. Like I’m plugged into something.

Then the lights started flickering and they wouldn’t stop.

Every time I would talk about something I was passionate about or being 100% authentically me, it would happen again.

And my pedicure lady and I just laughed about it.

Towards the end of my pedicure, her next client showed up and sat in the chair.

The weird shit is still happening. I’m still being me, still talking, not toning anything down. I don’t care who’s sitting there—I’ve got nothing to hide.

So this woman is just sitting there, watching all of it.

And then she tells me later that day she had a cancellation at 2:00 and I could come back and get my nails done.

And I just remember thinking…

okay, what is even happening right now.

So I had that window of time between finishing my pedicure and going back for my nails.

We went for a hike because I knew Evan needed it to calm down and reset.

But getting this kid to move his body and get out into nature can be next to impossible sometimes.

Today… he surrendered.

Parker almost falls into the lake.

We’re chasing a snake.

And then Parker decides that the ducks look like dinner.

I go back to get my nails done, and my nail lady tells me the woman who was sitting there earlier absolutely adored my energy. She thought I was the coolest person ever.

What an awesome validation.

By just being me… the world is responding.

Next, I head out the door to my next medically fragile client.

Things were already off for this client today.

As I’m sitting there working, they stiffen up and cry for a moment.

I felt the intensity.

I felt the eyes watching me.

I felt like I had done something wrong even though I didn’t.

And I felt like I was being scolded.

Then while I’m on my way to my next special needs client, three cars in front of me somebody slams on their brakes.

And why not.

I’m already having the conversation with myself about how I need to fire this bitch (which is me, I work for myself).

I gotta go talk to the boss because my complex PTSD is spiraling from something that wasn’t even an incident.

I finally get to my last client of the day, and as I am grabbing the lotion, the client moves and the lotion splats right into the poor kiddo’s eye.

So here I am internally at war with myself again.

But the reality is… the parents never scolded me.

They never got mad at me.

They knew exactly what was happening and going on.

But my complex PTSD can’t quite catch up to this new version of me fully yet, so there’s still battles that take place inside my own brain.

And don’t fool yourself… my day wasn’t quite over yet.

I still had invoices to process.

I still had to send an email to the big government offices about the Reimagined Waiver.

Not only am I a parent with an autistic son on the waiver,

I also work with these waiver children,

and I’m also a representative for another child.

💡 The Moral of the Story

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

I’m high energy. I’m real. I’m not here to be toned down to make people comfortable.

Some people won’t get it.

Some people will question it.

And some people will see exactly what it is.

But I show up.

Even on the days where everything stacks.

Even when my own brain is trying to take me out.

And yeah…sometimes there’s a little collateral damage.

But I’m still here.

If your nervous system needs a place to exhale, I offer trauma-informed massage, head spa treatments, and advanced skincare at 888 Spa MN—where real life and real healing meet.