The “Passenger Princess” & The 95% Rebuild

Current Status: Lashes still sitting there, heart raw, anchored by a 40lb dog.

👑 The Epiphany Didn’t Hit First (of course it didn’t)

I didn’t wake up processing anything deep.

I woke up to text messages…

and somehow ended up in Sculpted Warrior.

Which already feels like a sentence that shouldn’t make sense, but here we are.

🧠 ADHD Squirrel Brain Takes the Wheel

The first thing I did when I woke up…

I walked into my bathroom.

Saw the new makeup I got yesterday sitting on the counter.

It’s been over five years since I allowed myself to buy makeup.

My brain immediately went,

“🐿️ …yeah, we’re doing this now.”

So I did my full makeup.

And then…

I decided I was going to try the magnetic eyelashes.

You know—the ones that are supposed to clamp over your lashes?

Yeah. Those.

Tell me why I could not, for the life of me, get those things to clamp onto my eyelashes.

I don’t know what I was doing wrong.

I don’t know what they were doing wrong.

But we were not working together.

I sat there for an hour…

battling these sons of bitches.

And they still never made it onto my face.

I finally just looked at myself like,

“You know what… we’re done here,”

and moved on with my day.

Lashes: 1

Me: not today.

✨ Non-Negotiable = Still Non-Negotiable

Somewhere in the middle of all that chaos,

I did my Glow Getter morning vlog.

Doesn’t matter what’s going on—that part stays.

🏋️‍♀️ Sculpted Warrior

Then I headed to Sculpted Warrior.

My body is like 85–95% back.

Strength is there.

But coordination?

Not even close.

Brain:

“Left arm, right leg, let’s go.”

Body:

“…give me a second.”

I’m severely dyslexic.

I have like zero coordination right now.

My body has been stuck in trauma for so long that not moving became normal.

So now I’m showing up and learning how to move again.

My brain and my body are not processing together yet.

At one point my instructor came over and asked me what was going on.

I explained it to her.

And she just respected it.

No judgment.

That mattered.

We’re moving.

We’re growing.

We’re learning.

⛈️ The Bench Moment

After class I saw a bench.

It was sprinkling out.

And I decided to face another fear—

I laid on that bench and took a cute picture.

And it felt… clean.

Like actually cleansing.

🐾 Parker

Then I took Parker for a walk.

40 pounds of “you’re not spiraling today.”

He always knows.

🚿 Reset + Lash Lift

Shower.

Get ready.

Head out for my lash lift and brow tint.

✨ Lash Lift Reality Check

The girl that does my lash lift—I met her when I was going back to school for my advanced aesthetician.

I try to go see her every four weeks.

We catch up.

She gets to keep practicing.

And I get to walk out feeling like a queen I never thought I’d be.

Because let’s be real—

I never thought I’d be the one getting my hair done, lash lifts, my nails done, and exercising on a regular basis. I used to only dream about being able to do NAD and now I get to take it on a regular basis.

Like who even is this woman?

I never thought I’d be walking around with a Louis Vuitton purse driving a baby Range Rover.

I never thought I’d be the woman taking herself out on a date and actually enjoying her own company.

I never thought I’d be a successful business owner.

And if I’m being honest—

This is overwhelming.

But in the best way.

🌊 And Then It Hit

I looked in the rearview mirror before I started driving

and everything came swarming up over the past week.

My car broke down.

I called someone for help

and they showed up.

I allowed myself to receive it.

And for the first time in my life, at the age of 40,

I finally understood what Passenger Princess meant.

I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal a few years back.

Now I get it.

🧠 C-PTSD Part

I learned that peace isn’t safety.

I learned there’s always another shoe to drop.

I learned that when someone says something,

it usually means you’re in trouble.

I was taught that when someone helps you,

you owe them.

I was taught that when you call and ask for help,

you have to fight to get someone to show up—

and when they do,

they yell at you first

and tell you everything you did wrong.

Because somehow,

everything was always my fault

even when it wasn’t.

So the last few days have been hard.

Exhausting.

Processing everything I accepted and received on Wednesday as a Passenger Princess.

My body is flared up.

The exhaustion is real.

Because for once…

I let go.

I breathed.

I received.

And that’s confusing as hell

for someone with complex PTSD.

🦁 The 888 Piece

In the middle of all of this

I finished my About Me page.

The real one.

From banking

to accidentally building 888 Spa MN

The Takeaway:

You can be mostly healed

and still processing being cared for.

You can feel strong

and still not fully coordinate your own body yet.

You can survive everything

and still get taken out by magnetic eyelashes.

And you can be 40

and just now learning how to sit in the passenger seat.

It’s weird.

It’s real.

And it’s the raw truth.