Wait 🛑…. I Am Being Talked About in Rooms I Am Not Even Present In… or Cities
You know, it’s interesting. Is the black sheep really the black sheep, or is it the fucking unicorn?
Growing up, I was always the black sheep. I was the one getting picked apart. I was the one somehow getting blamed for things even when I wasn’t in the same state. If something went wrong, somehow my name ended up attached to it. For a long time, that’s just who I thought I was.
Lately though, I’ve started to wonder if I had it all wrong.
This morning started at 5:00 AM. At 5:15 AM, while I was driving to pick Evan up from work, I received one of the most beautiful text messages. The kind that makes you stop for a second and just smile. I picked him up, came home, and instead of crawling back into bed, I got my Glow Getter routine done, took my NAD, recorded my morning vlog, posted it, and then sat there looking at the clock. It wasn’t even 6:30 AM yet. I remember thinking, are we serious right now? I’ve already accomplished this much before most people have even started their day.
Of course, Sir Parker had other plans. He decided it was snuggle time, so I took a 45-minute nap because honestly, I’d already earned it. Then I threw on my workout clothes and headed to my second home these days, Lifetime Fitness.
Dylan worked on my back and taught me how to strengthen the muscles in the front of my neck. I am completely fascinated by this stuff. I can still feel those three rounds of thirty seconds we did today. After that, I sat in the steam room breathing in eucalyptus and letting everything settle. It does wonders for my lungs and honestly gives me a few minutes to process life. Then I headed upstairs for Sculpted Warrior.
Now let’s talk about progression, not perfection. My shoulders were definitely informing me that they had opinions about today’s workout. I paused when I needed to, but I never quit. The funniest part was finally figuring out the bow-and-arrow movement we’d been working on. Y’all know I’m dyslexic, but for me it’s more than reading and numbers. Sometimes my brain processes movement differently too. Last Saturday I could not understand this movement for the life of me. My brain was just like, absolutely not. Today it finally clicked. It wasn’t perfect, but I got it. That’s all I needed.
On the way home to change for my special-needs clients, I passed my friend driving the opposite direction. Now this is the second time in one week that this has happened. We’ve lived in the same city forever and I can only remember it happening one other time years ago. I don’t know, I just thought it was weird.
I made my protein coffee, grabbed my bubbler, and headed out because I knew the next few hours were going to be intense.
My first little guy today completely stole my heart. I’ve been working with him for about five years now, and today’s session was probably the most special one we’ve ever had. To feel the movement happening inside his body and witness what was happening in real time was incredible. I can’t even explain what it did to my heart. I was exhausted from only four and a half hours of sleep, but somehow that session completely recharged me. It reminded me exactly who the fuck I am.
Then I got to my next little guy’s house. He was asleep, so we worked with him exactly where he was at. During the session his heart started racing. I changed my hand placement, focused on my breathing, and within seconds his body regulated. The anxious racing feeling disappeared and stayed gone for the rest of the massage. His tissues were melting under my hands.
Meanwhile, my phone was absolutely losing its mind.
“Hey, I saw you on Facebook. Can you get me in this weekend?”
“A friend referred me to you.”
“Do you have an opening on this day?”
“Hey, I was thinking about you.”
“Thank you for checking in on me.”
While all of these messages were coming in, people were booking online too. I’m sitting there wondering what is happening in my life right now.
Then I got to the office and had two clients back-to-back. Both have been with me for years, and the transformations happening with them never get old. The more I grow, the more they grow. We are literally evolving together inside this little office room, and there is something so beautiful about that.
I’d come out of a session, check my phone, and there would be nine new messages waiting for me. Nine. My phone is usually quiet. Suddenly I’m moving appointments around, finding openings, responding to referrals, apologizing when I don’t have availability, and offering the next available time slots. I’m doing my best to keep up while simultaneously sitting there wondering, how is this my real life?
I’m getting ready to mentor a Fire Reiki practitioner. I’m starting to wonder if I need to find a massage therapist to mentor too. What exactly is the universe trying to show me right now?
Then the part that really stopped me in my tracks happened.
A friend spent part of her day talking about me to other people. Not because I asked her to. Not because I was in the room. Just because she was proud of me. She was telling doctors and chiropractors about everything I’ve overcome, everything I’ve built, and how successful I’ve become. She was calling me an inspiration.
Temperature check.
I’m still here, right?
This is real life?
At the same time, I have clients out there telling everyone they know about me. That’s how I’ve built this business. Not with some fancy marketing strategy. Not with some giant corporation behind me. Through word of mouth, showing up, helping people, and being my authentic self online.
I honestly had to stop and take a breath.
Everything I used to dream about is happening.
So now I’m wondering if I need to dream bigger.
I came home tonight and sat on the couch with Evan and Parker. Parker was laying on the rug looking like it was simply too hot to exist. If you know Sir Parker, that’s not normal behavior. I grabbed an Uncrustable and sat there trying to process the day when Evan walked to the fridge, grabbed my dinner, and asked, “Mom, can I have this?”
Now how exactly are you supposed to tell your kid no?
So I traded my dinner for two more Uncrustables and kept processing life.
Eventually I realized I needed a shower. Not because I was dirty, but because I needed to wash the day off. It felt like an entire week had happened in one day.
And now I’m laying here writing this blog trying to figure out what comes next.
Because maybe I was never the black sheep.
Maybe I was the fucking unicorn the whole time.
And honestly, that’s a weird thing to realize on a random Wednesday.
If your nervous system needs a place to exhale, I offer trauma-informed massage, head spa treatments, and advanced skincare at 888 Spa MN—where real life and real healing meet.
